During one of the many uncharacteristic hot, humid days in San Diego these past weeks, I planned a treat for myself–a drive down to the beach midday to dive into the great Pacific. I expected crashing waves, but what I didn’t expect was for my heart to break.
When I arrived on the beach, thick layers of large, slimy, tough strands of seaweed lay about 100 yards before me in the shallow water near the shore. This meant before I could plunge into the clear aqua blue waters beyond, I’d first have to wade through an overwhelming seaweed jungle.
My overheated, overworked body needed the cooling balm of a saltwater water plunge, so I ventured forward, annoyed by the inconvenience of the thick, tangled mess of rubbery seaweed, their slithering, snake like strands moving between my thighs, wrapping tentacles around my ankles, tripping me up on my way to the clear, wide blue.
Struggling through the dark, dense seaweed, complaints rolling off my tongue, suddenly my heart cracked open — recent news images of the little 3-year old Syrian boy, Aylan, found dead on the shore of Turkey, flickered before me like a movie. I’m complaining about seaweed? I imagined his desperate father, one of the thousands of refugees fleeing Syria, struggling to keep his two little boy’s heads above the water, each tucked under each arm– their inadequate 15-foot boat he paid smugglers $4000 euros to escape war-torn Syria, capsized in the monstrous sea. His wife already had drown.
I imaged him finally surrendering, releasing his two dead boys into the tumult of the unrelenting sea, his soul crying a silent, stark scream, a cruel wail of helplessness, a wordless, hasty, useless, lamenting cry for his beloved family.
What can we do with such horrors, what suffices for the depth of such tragedy? Only broken hearts bleeding, bleeding compassion, our crying out tangled messes of prayers, pleading comfort for those mourning, seeking ways to help heal such brokenness…
For we do not know what we should pray for as is fitting, but the Spirit itself makes intercession with groaning which cannot be uttered.-Romans 8:26
In our safe American world where news from afar come like storms behind screens in our living rooms, onto our PC’s and Macbooks, we wrap grief-ridden stories around our hearts like seaweed, lured into the trenches of the world’s despair – or we are numbed by it all.
As I move through the muck, more images flicker before me, his wife’s love fighting the sea, gasping for the ounce of might, the last breath, the hope,that somehow, her husband holds her children safe.
I make it through the seaweed stew to crystal clear waters and dive deep down into the cool ocean’s expanse, swimming through flickering images, my highly sensitive body, dripping with tears that fall into silence, into the ocean’s depths.
I pray to release this sorrow from my heart.
I wonder, What good are our wails? What can we do? Are my words a ministry enough? I had daydreamed throughout the week before my swim, of opening our home to a refugee family, those wandering, uprooted like redwoods in a storm, their roots fleeing horror, homes left behind, regular lives pulled out from beneath them like rugs. Could my family in our busy lives handle such raw hospitality, amidst school, work, theater performances, and the already strenuous work keeping up with our comfortable lives? Do we have it in us, or is someone better for the task – those with specific spiritual gifts needed for such sacred, desperate hospitality?
Or do we send dollars to charities, to support the dedicated people already before us providing food, clothes, shelter–the doctors, the volunteers, the cooks, teachers, and ministries finding these displaced people homes, or those rescuing others floating in the middle of the sea?
A sudden mighty wave comes like a whale, I swim toward it with strong, pumping arms, and quicken my kicks. I dive under it’s crest, managing to let go of the images, diving deep into the refreshing, welcoming, warm beautiful ocean, before a mighty wave crashes like thunder, churning seaweed infested shallows near the shore.
I go home after the swim, and the week continues on, my everyday life crashing over my servant heart. My intention of wanting to do more to help, retreats, beneath the covers of my safe, American life.
For a few days, I forget baby Aylan, his brother, Galip, Mr. and Mrs. Kurdi, and the thousands of displaced refugees fleeing war-torn towns and cities.
But God knows my heart, and in matters of the heart, God helps us to never forget.
God turns our broken hearts toward the healing of humankind. For when we’re called to holiness, we’re also called as servants to the hungry, the widows, the orphans, the oppressed, those in need, and those mourning.
We just cannot forget.
For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat: I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in. – Matthew 25:35
When our hearts crack open, making deep crevices, and we submit ourselves in faith, God guides us to how we can serve according to our spiritual gifts, to help heal the world around us.
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who lead with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Romans 12:6-8
It doesn’t matter who you are. Everyone has something to offer the movement of justice. – Shane Claiborne
Today my prayer is for discernment, to determine how God will use my spiritual gifts in this Godly movement toward justice, of how I can offer my teardrops in this grand ripple effect of compassion, contributing to the movement of those creating heaven on earth, those making waves of love.
What about you? What breaks your heart?
For those who feel called to help the refugees, here are a few excellent links to guide you to quality organizations on the front lines, and ways you can help.
Author Ann Voskamp offers some wonderful resources
Migrant Offshore Aid Station: Dedicated to preventing loss of life at sea
CWS is working with partners to eradicate hunger and poverty and promote peace and justice among the world’s most vulnerable people.
Resources mostly organizations for Europeans from a wonderful blog from a Lady in France.
WE LOVE YOUR COMMENTS, and Your hearts!
Linking up with #SmallWonder and all these wonderful hosts!
So much breaking our hearts this week! Great post, great testimony. So glad you posted FBeuchner’s quote – it’s all about the invitation, the RSVP and the going Home. Next to you at TestimonyTuesday. And I’m happy to find a west coast blogger! blessings on you. PS I’ll pin Beuchner’s quote – can i use it on my blog and reference you?
So glad to have you visit! I had a bit of a delayed reaction with the refugee issue..God pulls at our hearts!
Yes, do pin Buechner’s quote and you surely can reference it on your blog. He’s one of my favorite writers. I’ll check out your post, too!
Do visit again!
Ah yes, you also wrote about a broken heart! A different kind, but still a broken heart..those are precious moments to cry with a dear friend!
I didn’t see a comment area..so sending you this!
A beautiful post, which would seem strange to some, I’m sure, but I know you’ll understand my words. It is beautiful is that we anguish and cry through these tragic times, yet God allows us to care and give and He knows our heart. Thank you for sharing. Visiting you from #RaRaLinkup today. Blessings.
Hi Karlene, So glad you visited, and I do know what you mean..I haven’t written a post like this, and hesitated. But God put it on my heart to share such anguish, to mourn and to bless in return!
Such a beautifully written tribute of awareness to a deep need in our world right now and also to the awareness we need to have about ourselves. We all are called to care for the orphan – for the least of these. Each in our own way. I am praying your post reaches many and awakens that place in their hearts so they hear God calling them to care in the way He has planned for them. And may each who is awakened, be obedient to that calling!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Thank you so much for visiting Lori, and for your encouragement and compassion! I thank you for your prayers that the message in this story will reach others, creating a rippling effect of blessings for these beautiful, wandering people! You’ve blessed me today with your words!
Oh friend… yes! Praying for clarity and provision, for grace and mercy in knowing what and how and when… This is pulling on us as well and we refuse to just sit back and only pray from afar! Prayer is necessary and powerful and good… but our faith must rise up into action! We must actually BE the hands and feet of Jesus. We don’t need to wait for the answer… because we have the Answer living inside of us! We know His heart and passion and we know His words will guide us!
My dear blogworld mentor/friend Karrilee, I’m blessed to travel this path with you, and so many with such huge hearts like you who want to reach those in great need..Yes, prayer is our communion with God, who’ll lead us and guide us in the way we should go, but we need, as you say, for our faith to rise up into action–be the hands and feet of Jesus! I love how you say we have the Answer living inside of us already! Beautiful! Yes! God’s ‘words will guide us!”
PS. The links for resources and blog formatting are now in working order!
Thank you for linking back to my blog with the European resources. In reading your words (for the second or third time) I am reminded of how much I love the way you see the world and how you express it.
Dearest Jennie..thank you so much for your encouraging words, it means much! I so much appreciate your writing and blog as well, and do look
forward to visiting more often! I’m so grateful for your wonderful post about the refugee issue along with the wonderful European resources.
I have a few European followers so hope to spread the word! Blessings Jennie!
Oh how your words are such a gift! Each one filled with emotion, intention and inspiration. You capture the heartache and truth both bound in a believer. Thank you for this message… It was profound. It moved me so deeply… because it echoed my heart in a much more poetic and beautiful way.
Praying for discernment. Spirit hear our groans.. May God move us all to be His Hands and Feet in our own unique way, according to our gifts, our resources, and His Call for each one of his children.
I’m so grateful to share this story with you since I sense from your beautiful poetry/prayers on your earlier blog, that your heart is huge and breaks like mine for those in need! Where two or more gather..we are heard, we can make a difference, and know God uses our sensitive hearts for good!
Ahhh yes. How to handle the endless heartbreak that is experienced in the Middle East? The United States and Europe must accept a large piece of responsibility for the trauma experienced in the Middle East. Past policies dating back to the post World War II era where Middle Eastern country borders were drawn by the superpowers without regard to tribal community boundaries. The superpowers insatiable thirst for Middle Eastern oil has caused irrational justification to invade oil rich Middle Eastern countries. United States and European politicians backed brutal Middle Eastern leaders who agreed to provide the superpowers discounted oil prices. The tribes connected to brutal dictators became stronger and marginalized all others. The marginalized tribes become more and more fundamentalist in their religious beliefs as they face decreasing economic opportunites and have difficulties finding adequate employment or feeding their families.
Kathy your beautiful description of your heart breaking open as you immersed yourself into the Pacific ocean waters and thought of the profound suffering of the Syrian refugee family highlights the tremendous capacity of human compassion. It is a poignant expression of how all humanity is connected and that we all are responsible for each other’s well being. I too pray for discernment in choosing how to best take action on my compassion for the suffering endured by millions of people in the Middle East. Here are some additional thoughts on ways to express our compassion: 1) VOTE for politicians who prioritize world peace and have brilliant diplomatic skills AND 2) choose activities of daily living that decrease the need for oil. Additionally, KPBS just interviewed the director of Catholic Charities of the Diocese of San Diego (CCDSD). This San Diego Organization receives annual federal funding to manage 3% of refugees that come to United States soil. They are headquartered in Chula Vista. Mr. Moser, director of CCDSD, stated that simply helping a family adapt to life in America is a huge help. He said support in transitioning includes: 1) teaching English 2) companionship 3) helping navigate through health care, banking and educational systems 4) assisting finding religious/spiritual communities 5) chauffering to stores etc.
I need to also say that despite the history of some of our war mongering leaders who were willing to violate many moral codes to obtain access to cheap oil………..the people of the United States of America are the MOST GENEROUS when it comes to philanthropy. The heart and spirit of the majority of the American people is beautiful and Kathy and all who participate in this blog are perfect examples of this. Finally, I believe that providing peaceful homes where our family members witness acts of love, respectful communication and compassion is the most powerful tool we have to shift traumatic events throughout the world.
Thank you Theresa for your words about this story, that it “highlights the tremendous capacity of human compassion”. With waves of people contributing, we can make a huge dent in the troubles that abound. I also thank you for your important overview about a piece of the history of the issues in the Middle East, certainly one core issues at the backdrop of the problems in these warn-torn areas. And thank you for your suggestions on how to help! I’m especially grateful for the info on CCDSD since I like to work in grassroots ways–was looking for such an organization! You are right in that many hearts in the US are most generous, and that we need to begin our peace right in our own homes and lives–from here we can then throw our stones of into the great ripple effects of compassion!
As I read this, I also feel compassion and turn directly to God. He is my only savior , the only one to turn to when bad things happen. This gives me solace and compassion and then frees me up to pray for people that bad things happen to. I was with a 85 year old survivor of Auschwitz a couple of weeks ago. Her whole family were killed in front of her. She stood naked in font of the horrible Nazi Doctor Joseph Mengele . While we were driving to a conference where she was going to speak, she comforted me because we were a little late. A survivor comforted me? When she spoke to the 700 people, she drew down into the pain and then said ‘by the will of God I was saved’. Over her years she didn’t focus on all the immense grief and loss of her family, instead she turned to God–then I understood more, in our mourning, in our grief, the mystery and power of God’s grace comforts, leads to renewed life, then helps us comfort others. I then fully understood the power of God.
Thank you for your faith-filled comment and the encouraging story about your Auschwitz survivor friend — such a testimony to the ability of overcoming such tragedy for survivors of traumatic, deeply horrifying circumstances. She is one of the many who stand for the hope for others.
So much appreciate your comment!