In an attempt to quiet my mind during morning prayer, I imagined being on my knees at Jesus’ feet. Something about being on our knees is immediately humbling. My attention soon shifted to a listening stance. In a few moments of just breathing and waiting, I sensed Jesus saying, “even though you’re tempted to get up and do-do-do in this early New Year, you are right to be here”. I understood in that moment, deep in my bones, the contentment Mary must have felt sitting by Jesus’ feet while her sister, busy-bee Martha, buzzed around being hospitable and annoyed Mary wasn’t helping. I understood how Jesus’ directives reign above all when we’re truly faithful.
Even though I so wanted to get up and rush into the day with fresh energy for New Year project inspirations, I knew the gale wind force of busyness would eventually lead me off-course. It always does. I trust the process of prayer for reminding us we belong on our knees first and foremost before we move forward with plans. Prayer and sacred time with God makes sure any busyness we undertake is purposeful, strengthening us to move forward fueled by grace.
Sitting a while longer, content, receptive, just listening, suddenly I sensed Jesus’ words jolting me from a state of bliss. I heard again, “walk on water‘”, a similar directive during my prayer time over the holidays — but I had forgotten.
As a filmmaker, I often imagine scenes in scripture like mini-movies, this time the rocking boat scene in Matthew 14:22-23 came alive:
At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.
But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”
Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”
He said, “Come ahead.”
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”
Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”
The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down.
I imagined myself walking toward Jesus upon a tumultuous sea. His calling for me makes sense. Afterall, my very little faith, on-and-off for the last year, has been spotty like polkadots on the fabric of my life. I’ve prayed for more faith, and journaled about wanting more trust in God, and here it is — a blatant call for radical faith from the one who calls.
Sometimes the calls we hear aren’t so radical — perhaps we’re called to rest, or to wait. Either way, we need to trust and we need to fall on our knees because sometimes waiting and rest are just as challenging as walking on water. I’ve been called to rest for long periods of time in my life, and as an achiever, it’s been as hard to slow down. I’ve also been called to wait for long, long periods of time for changes I have longed for. For instance, I married at 35 years old. I had a baby at 40 years old. For harrowing years I questioned and cried out on my knees, ‘will it ever happen?‘ — would getting pregnant at a later age after miscarriages, or married when all my friends, married, were having one or two children, ever happen for me? They did. They did. What grace.
In blind faith we’re called to listen for what God most wants for us, trusting that God’s plans for us are for good, and not to harm us, but to give us a future of hope.
Where do you sense God is calling you? Is it for waiting? For rest? For a job change? A move? For building a relationship? For radical faith? For walking on water?
Whatever your call, fall on your knees and await with eagerness for Christ’s divine instruction. Know with wonder in your heart, that your own tailor-made call comes with a miraculous unfolding, of splitting of Red Sea impossibilities, and a promised land ahead.
And then step out of your boat into the unwieldy sea toward Christ awaiting you with open arms.
WE LOVE YOUR COMMENTS!
“Know with wonder in your heart, that your own tailor-made call comes with a miraculous unfolding, of splitting of Red Sea impossibilities, and a promised land ahead.” Thank you for the reminder that God’s call is clear and tailored to me if I just listen.
So glad Karin this inspired you to listen more deeply!
So inspiring to hear how God worked in your life giving you what you prayed for (marriage and a baby) and in His timing! I sense God wanting me to get out of the box, or stepping out of the boat in radical faith as He restores that child-like wonder, believe and faith I had when I first dived into a relationship with Him. I’ve wanted a change in two areas forever it seems, waiting for clear instructions or sometimes taking a small step and then readjusting back to the road I was on before! But, yes, falling on my knees does need to come first instead of taking the step. Thank you for your words today!
I know that feeling of wanting to go back to the child-like wonder of our early faith..my sense is there’s a deepening in you going on..a maturing faith that will unfold a new kind of child like wonder!
Thank You for your honesty. I am a single 38 year old who yearns deeply to be a wife and mom. Your words were balm to my soul today. Radical faith indeed! I’m your neighbor at Testimony Tuesday this week.
I love Tara how you were next door at Testimony Tuesday..that my words speak so deeply to your yearning! I pray for you for that radical faith and for God bringing you your hearts desire. I was a late bloomer too..but in God’s timing things are different than the way the world considers timing! Blessings to you!
Beautiful! I’m not good at the waiting but I loved your imagery of sitting at Jesus’ feet!
thank you Sabrina!
And.. once again you have moved me, touched me, and hit me straight in the heart Kathy! I have promised God I would spend more time in His Word this year, and every single day- EVERY SINGLE DAY I HAVE FAILED. Oh wait, there was one day. ONE!!
And my busyness, my anxiety of ‘getting things done’ has become more important than God.
Shame on me.
I need to do what you did. I need to sit and stir and listen and hear His voice. I’m not sure why I am fighting this… I KNOW I need it. Sigh. I’m being stubborn and superficial and impulsively selfish and worldly distracted and and and…
I thank Him each day for fresh grace. Thank GOD they are new every morning…
“Whatever your call, fall on your knees and await with eagerness for Christ’s divine instruction. Know with wonder in your heart, that your own tailor-made call comes with a miraculous unfolding, of splitting of Red Sea impossibilities, and a promised land ahead.
And then step out of your boat into the unwieldy sea toward Christ awaiting you with open arms.” <— THIS was utterly inspiring. <3
I love you. I love your honesty. I’m convinced stopping and listening to God in this wild and crazy world is one of the hardest things to do.
First, be easy on yourself..keep surrendering..I’m not sure but I think it’s all about learning a new language..the language of God..and it takes patience, reading scripture, dwelling, ongoing all our lives…God knows your heart, too! Be gentle with yourself..
I felt the pull of God as you wrote of your need to be still before the Lord on your knees, seeking only Him and His direction. I’m trusting the Lord to clarify a situation about a purchase of a small home near my children. I found a home near to one of my sons which would be perfect for prolonged visits. My dream of enjoying my family and grandchildren who live there is my heart’s desire. Now I need to ask the Lord to either change my husband’s mind as he feels it is unnecessary, or to release this dream and just take small trips there. It is over four hours away. Pray I would find peace as I find myself debating the risks of going ahead with the offer, or just relinquishing my dreams to pacify my husband. I will wait and trust the Lord to give me direction and walk on water if He wants me to!
I’m so blessed this speaks to you Kathy. I pray for direction for you in the purchase of this small home
near your children. It sounds so lovely and I trust God will reveal what is meant for you and that fulfils your
hearts desire in the ways that is best for your family in the eyes of God. I pray you find peace with this turning
point and decision and you release it into God’s hands and trust! If you remember, let us know how you’re led..
So blessed by this rich call to listen to God’s voice to me and see what unfolds! I love your call to prayer on bended knee – I get it – somehow a bended knee postures my heart, too. Glad we are neighbors at RaRaLinkUp.
Thank you so much Sandra..I’m blessed these words bless you!
Thank you Kathy for your constant reminding for us to “fall to our knees”, a falling upward practice. In the mornings, I repetitively fall into the pattern of indulging in my cherished coffee that my husband lovingly prepares….we chat we laugh we talk about our plans for the day. This talk of plans for the day launches me into the “busyness” mode. By 2 pm ish, if checking off to do list items has caused frustrations….I notice a harsh judgement of self and others creeping in. My patience declines and open heartedness begins to close. Most days, I am successful to do my meditation and prayer by 3 pm ish. However, I know if I began my morning ” falling upward”, I would more likely keep my patience and open heartedness throughout the day. That morning time with my husband is precious….I need more discipline to go to my meditation afterwards instead of launching into busyness. I am grateful to have you…a dear sister of the sacred heart, remind me. I find that when I do my devotional practice in the morning, I have more courage to keep an open heart with conflicts and have more faith that Providence will provide me the grace needed along the courageous choices I prefer to make.
I love hearing about your morning time with your dear husband. These momens are so special. I also understand how this time can distract you from prayer time, and know just by being aware how much you need this time, I trust you’ll return ..and how we all remind one another of our need to do so! It’s so easy to get off track..I just love how we can just keep returning over and over again when we do..
and how essential it is!