We don’t talk about her much, but she’s always with us, covered under beige makeup and pink blush, on pale lips under rose-colored lipstick, hiding in our forced smiles.
She often escapes into safe, yet dark, claustrophobic closets of isolation, hiding out in tunnels of introversion.
She’s the ghost of millions, across landscapes, wearing sarees, hijabs, bikinis, high heels and pearls. She’s on street corners chewing gum, dressed in mini-skirts, ripped fish net stockings, outspoken tattoos etched into her skin, you can almost see them bleeding. She’s driving carloads of kids to soccer games in mini-vans in suburbia.
Her name is shame – -shame clinging to souls like barnacles on slimy rocks, sticking like tar on stomach walls. Her inhales breathe relentless untruths, that she is not enough, yet she can’t find fresher air.
Her buried past, littered with hurt, abuse, blame, belittlement, seduction, haunts. Like Monica Lewinsky, she made mistakes. Publically disgraced on the Internet at light speeds, she wants to die. Her mother won’t let her shower with the door closed. Others, once called too fat, not pretty enough, cut, throw up after meals, and drink too much. Many, pretty, skinny, objectified, striving for magazine model perfection, shrink into oblivion. Like dirt being thrown over a grave, they forget who they are. Many drag depression, sadness, loneliness, invisibility and self-denigration like bags of dirty laundry through their days. Somewhere things went wrong though — bullied, punished, shamed, ignored, buttocks slapped, religious guilt shoved down throats, shame mixes like poison in blood, pumps through our veins, as if this is destiny.
Yet, in Christ, shame is not our destiny.
“Whoever believes in him will not be put to shame”- Romans 9:3
“Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us”. -Rom 5:5
Imagine Mary Magdalene’s shame as an outcast, before Jesus healed her of ‘seven demons’, rotting, demonized by society. Or consider the prostitute, mute, head hanging low, knees in dirt, circled by a condemning public, rocks in hands, until Jesus untied her tongue and soul and set her free.
“Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; for you will forget the shame of your youth.” -Isaiah 54:4
Jesus the one who came for the shamed: the downtrodden, blind, poor, the sinners, the lepers, with half fingers, and stubbed toes. Jesus, who tells us in so many words, we really need to love ourselves, because we are so loved. Jesus who heals the shame that binds us.
Shame is the stuff of dungeons and tarantulas, spider webs, rats and skeletons, a dreaded landscape that lives in varying degrees in each of us. It requires Christ’s hallowing glory to shine it’s blazing light into shame’s corners, returning us whole, into the divine image of God.
In Christ, denigration, disrespect, and oppression have no license. In the glaring light of Christ love, Christ places a stop sign and a mirror in front of shamers. Loved in Christ, we learn the beauty of loving and protecting ourselves from shame’s destruction. In Christ, like Mary Magdalene, we become resurrected, Christ-filled women and crowned disciples.
Will you consider looking in the mirror today and ask yourself honestly, does shame hide in me, does it drive a portion of my life? Is depression, procrastination, or pain burying any shame? Can you ask yourself, who or what shamed me? When you look in the mirror and see shame in your pupils, can you take it out of hiding, place it next to you, into the light of Christ’s divine love? And in doing so, will you entertain the glorious notion, that shame doesn’t belong to you?
I have come to give life, and give it abundantly! – Jesus
We love your comments!
I love the idea of bringing it to the light. There’s so much power in walking in His light! 1 John 1:5-7
thank you for visiting Alicia!
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on shame. Shame seems to be a driving force with some people and get in the way of us doing great things for God 🙂
so true Amanda, shame does get in the way of doing great things!
Such a powerful post and oh how shame is good at hiding just beneath the surface! Praying for everyone who boldly prays that prayer and calls shame forth! Let Jesus cast it out and take its place.
Love this, friend!
Thank you much for the encouragement,Karrilee! Always love hearing from you!
There is no shame in Jesus. I just love that His grace wipes away our flaws. Thank you Jesus!
It’s what Adam and Eve felt….”In the beginning…”! Instead of “abiding”…… God found them “hiding”! In His love, He clothed them for their journey out of the garden….knowing that the “seed” of the woman would one day crush the “head” of the serpent…..and his lies would end forever!! When that lying Serpent rings the doorbell in your heart or mind……send Jesus to the door!!
Rebecca I just love this..’knowing the seed of the woman would one day crush the head of the serpent, powerful
imagery! Love your take on this in light of the unfolding story!
You have presented so many images of where shame can lie! It’s unfortunate how much society can perpetuate shame, even use shame for power and money. It’s a chain I know I have been trapped in and constantly have to realign with the truth of Christ. Thank you for this! The hope is there is a way out! And I didn’t know those scriptures on shame. I’ll be diving into those.
So many women carry shame that’s imposed on us..you’re so right it’s a chain we get trapped in. We have to constantly bring it into the light!
And remind one another to do so..shame can be a sneaky snake..loved your last blog!
thanks for visiting Kasia! We need to keep bringing shame into the light of Christ!
So true! Heavy stuff, the shame we carry.
Praise God that He wants to take our burden away!
This post is amazingly well written.
I think if you printed it (like a flyer or gospel tract) and handed it out to people on the highways and byways of life, it would SO resonate with many and the Spirit could use it to bring many people to Christ.
Thank you Ruth for your encouraging words! I love the idea of handing it out to people..so many walk around with shame as their cloak.
Love your comment and visit!
Powerful fire in this writing about shame. When I remind myself in daily prayer that I am a daughter of the Divine and remember all that Jesus sacrificed for our souls, I am able to pull myself away from the tug of shame.
Your powerful writing inspired me to do more thinking about the issue of shame. I was just contemplating what if I wasnt raised believing I was born with original sin that required the intervention on a male priest to cleanse me through confession. What if, instead, I was told that I was born a sacred beautiful magnificent soul and was given a paintbrush, dancing shoes, a backpack to hike through gorgeous national parks and a bible written with a pure translation of Christs perfectly balanced masculine and feminine characteristics. With these tools, i was then told that I had unique gifts to offer …..and that my main life’s mission was to discover, develop and offer these gifts to my community. I was also told that the honoring of my unique soul is the best way to sing hymns to the heavens. I wonder if I would have the struggles that I carry with shame if I had been given this message of my life’s mission in my early years and beyond?
what a powerful comment Theresa, thank you for reflecting on this post with such thoughtfulness! Yes, for many the true
teachings of Christ without the religous baggage and legalism would have helped so many deeply appreciate, and benefit from, the gems
of the Bible and Christ’s teachings!
Oh this is POWERFUL Kathy. Who doesn’t need this reminder and this declaration on the regular?
I know I do…
Thank you for this. In the deepest parts of me, it was such a comforting message that hit home. I must hold onto this truth when I feel the shame from my past mistakes rise and take hold of me-
He has washed me clean. He has a purpose for me. I am His, I am loved.
You are so loved, and such a gift to so many of us!!