I drove away from home this morning leaving my Macbook on to upload a large video file that would take two hours. Suddenly, a few miles from home, panic railroaded through my nerves. “The computer, it’s been overheating more than usual, oh my gosh, it’s sitting on my bed, the house is going to burn down.” I imagined rushing home to fire engines hosing down my flaming house, running out of the car screaming, “my cat, my photo albums, my computer with all my files...”. This elaborate scenario continued until I arrived at the library where I’d planned on working for the day, realizing I just created a whole story from my irrational, angst ridden mind.
Anxiety can be like the constant jack hammering just outside our bedroom windows, our nerves knotted and contorted like Woody Allen and Sigmund Freud playing Twister. We avoid our anxieties with favored distractions like Netflix, You Tube, Google, or a bottle of chardonnay and bowl of potato chips. Yet, in the end, they fare no better as avoidants than closing our windows on the relentless machine gun metal to concrete jack hammering on the street outside.
I often find peace from anxiety by recalling relevant scripture such as St. Paul’s words, “Don’t be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”.
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Yet, at times, the anxiety thunders just too loud. Its incessant voice gnaws on my insides like a hungry, tired, teething, weaning baby sucking the last drop from from his momma’s raw nipple, wordless wails crying out, ‘I need it, I need you!”
When free floating anxiety starts taking over my inner peace, I’ve learned to create time in my day to stop and listen to what it has to say. Anxiety, I’ve learned, holds wisdom.
Just recently, with pen to journal, I wrote:
“What is it you want”?
It answered me, “What are you doing, you’re running around with all these projects, you’re spread too thin”.
Then it proceeded to tell me that “I forgot Jesus, his teachings and practicing what I write about”. Everything I’ve studied and try to live over the years – Jesus wonderful words, “I tell you, do not be anxious about your life”, his instructions, “come to me, walk with me, follow me, you are cared for and provided for, peace is here”, all drown out by a free floating anxiety masked by my overdoing. It turns out as always, by taking on too many projects, I’m seeking to fulfill an unconscious need to prove something to myself, yet really avoiding an emptiness within that only God can fill.
Ah. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything pray, give your requests to God, and be thankful. St. Paul went on to say, that once we do this, there’s a pay off.
He continues, “then the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ”.
In Christ. In the steadfast, divine wisdom behind the cloaks of our anxieties.
How interesting the Greek word for anxiety, merimena means separated from the whole, or dividing a fracturing a person’s being into parts.
It separates us not only from ourselves, fragmenting our minds and lives into scattered shards of glass spread across our precious days, but most vital, it cuts us off from the source of a divine life, the peace of all peace of God and the ability to enjoy the moments of our lives.
In Proverbs we learn anxiety weighs us down.
When we set apart time to listen to the truth behind our anxieties, we begin ending the pull toward irrational fears, numbing addictions and fruitless distractions.
I encourage you to start a dialogue with anxieties plaguing your life. Set aside sacred time with pen a paper, poised with an attitude of gentleness toward yourself, and begin a prayerful request. Simply ask your anxiety, ‘what is it do you want?”
This simple practice stops the angst train, allowing Godly wisdom to speak the truth into our lives.
And remember always, in everything, pray, request and petition for your needs, and give thanks.
And peace will come.
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I was intrigued by the title of your blog post, and I am so glad I stopped by.
This seems to be a theme for me this week, one that the Lord is ministering to me.
Negative self-talk.
But I like how you turned it around to a “dialogue with anxiety”. How true, all anxiety has a much deeper issue at it’s root, far beyond what we are afraid of.
I was especially struck when you shared, “the Greek word for anxiety, merimena means separated from the whole, or dividing a fracturing a person’s being into parts.
It separates us not only from ourselves, fragmenting our minds and lives into scattered shards of glass spread across our precious days, but most vital, it cuts us off from the source of a divine life, the peace of all peace of God and the ability to enjoy the moments of our lives.”
As I read these words, it was quite sobering. Anxiety is very destructive and worst of all, we cut ourselves off from amazing Peace.
Thanks so much for sharing your insights. I appreciated them!
Dearest Karen, thank you for your heartfelt words, I can only say the greatest blessing I can hear about writing is when it speaks deeply to a person. I’m so glad the words meant much to you during this season of anxiety..may you be released from anxieties and find the wisdom and blessings God holds for you beyond — as we know, so many promises! You might also like an earlier blog on the site, ‘How to Quiet Your Mind’…So many blessing!
Love your words! Isn’t anxiety a beast, but so thankful God has given us thanks and worship to combat it! Thank you for your reminders that we should not be weighed down but lift our petitions to Christ. Linking up with you via #raralinkup. (I wrote about anxiety too this week. Come on by and check it out.)
Hi Christina! So good to hear from you..love what you say, that anxiety is a beast! That’s what it feels like sometimes, doesn’t it. What a blessing to know the power of prayer and turning our minds and hearts to God. I will check out your blog on anxiety,too!
Thank you for the reminder that anxiety is an indicator that we are in survival mode. When pause and ask Anxiety about it’s message, it is eager to share. And yes… peace is “ours” through conscious connection and our requests for help. Very nicely written 🙂
Thank you Laura for visiting and for you comment. No matter how spiritual our intentions, anxiety sometimes does get hold!
I know about anxiety all too well, as it is something I have struggle with for years. I have learned to stand on His word to help me get through those moments when fear and anxiety about something has take hold of me. I remind myself this fear is not God and if it is not from Him and need to let it go.
thanks Mary for visiting, I think we all struggle with anxiety, yet we’re so blessed to know we can turn to the ‘peace that surpasses all understanding’ by being ‘branches on the vine’!
Great words on anxiousness. I was nodding my head yes when you were describing your story about your computer overheating and then the house burning down. We let anxiety rules us instead of allowing God’s peace to fill us. Blessed you shared this at The Weekend Brew.
thanks for visiting Mary, love having you here, and do read your blog often! How nurturing life is when we allow God’s peace to fill us!